


If we could only be free

by princexxpark



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Endgame Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, M/M, Mentioned Eleanor Calder, Minor Eleanor Calder/Louis Tomlinson, Niall Horan & Harry Styles Friendship, Past Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Post-One Direction, Solo Artist Harry Styles, Solo Artist Liam Payne, Solo Artist Louis Tomlinson, Solo Artist Niall Horan, Solo Artist Zayn Malik, Soulmates Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Zayn Malik & Liam Payne & Louis Tomlinson Friendship, Zayn Malik and Louis Tomlinson Are Roommates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-07-02
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:48:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24857116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princexxpark/pseuds/princexxpark
Summary: "What was my life like after One Direction started the hiatus? Amazing! I went through an incredibly difficult time, but career wise everything went really well: I was in a huge movie with great actors, released my first solo album, went on tour alone, had the chance to meet new amazing people and now I’m working on my second album. I mean, what else could I have asked for?"If I could only be free."How did I feel about the hiatus? Honestly, it was hard to accept, I slowly started to gain confidence and all of sudden everything was gone. Many things happened in the last years, positive ones for sure, but it was the toughest time of my life. However, I made some collaborations that went pretty well and now I’m working on my first solo album, isn’t it great?"If I could only be free.After a few difficult years everything seemed normal again, everything was perfectly fine, until someone was too drunk to even think and sent a message to him.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	1. Don't blame me drunk calling.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone!  
> This is my first ever writing experience, I hope you'll enjoy the story.  
> For now it will be pretty simple, kinda realistic... Maybe I will try something new later on, especially if you'll enjoy my work.  
> OH and English is not my first language so I'm sorry about possible mistakes.
> 
> I'll try my best to update once a week, depends on how busy I am with school and exams.
> 
> Let me know what do you think about this story, it means a lot to me.  
> You can also find me on twitter (@princexxpark), you can send me dms with your thoughts and suggestions.
> 
> Now I'm gonna leave you to the story, have fun!  
> Love whoever you want and be kind, always! 
> 
> Bye for now.  
> Els ◟̽◞̽

_What is a soulmate?_

According to Greek mythology, humans were created with four arms, four legs and a head with two faces. Zeus split them into two separate parts because he feared their power, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves.

According to an old asian belief, originated from Chinese Mythology, it's someone you're connected to with a red wire. You're destined to meet this person and they're meant to be your true love. The red wire is wrapped around the two people's pinkies. Those who are connected by the red thread of fate are destined lovers, regardless of place, time, or circumstances. This magical cord may stretch or tangle, but never break.

Harry and Louis didn't believe in myths, they didn't believe in _soulmates_. Harry and Louis didn't know they had found their soulmate at such a young age. They didn't know they were destined to be together, because they both are each other's _half_ , they are both connected with the same _red wire_.

* * *

Harry stretched his legs under the blankets and turned himself on his stomach, burying his face in his soft pillow, trying to cover his ears with his big hands. His phone was buzzing, it was like sleeping with a bee flying around his ears.

He slowly opened his eyes and reached for his phone. Who was calling him at _three_ in the morning? It must be urgent, maybe his manager or something happened at home. Slowly, he unlocked his phone and the bloody light almost blinded him. Ugh, better not to be a stupid prank. He turned again, this time on his side, trying to find a comfortable position.

_1 missed call._

He clicked on the notification and gasped. No, it couldn't be _him_. What did _he_ want this time? What if something bad happened? No, _he_ would've called him again, sent him several messages or left a voicemail. Suddenly, his ringtone woke him up from his thoughts.

_1 new message._

His hands were shaking, why was he feeling so nervous? Definitely because he didn't want to receive a bad news. Yes, that's why his heart was pounding in his chest. He breathed in and opened the message.

' _Harry, I miss you.'_

He didn't breathe out, he didn't breathe at all. Harry was confused. _They_ were doing more than fine, everything was almost _perfect_. Harry was finally discovering himself, his music was more personal and exactly how he wanted, his tour was about to start and he was _sure_ he was finally over _him._ He was _happy_ , or at least he _thought_ he was. And _he_ seemed happy, too.

His phone rang again and this time Harry answered, heart still pounding in his chest, faster than before.

" _Umh... Harry? D-Did I wake you up?" He_ said softly, like a whisper, voice shaking; _he_ was drunk and Harry was sure about that. He knew _him_ , he knew how _his_ voice was like when _he_ was drunk, how it changed and how soft but high pitched it became.

" _Louis, why are you calling me? Did something happen?"_ Harry paused, waiting for an answer but all he could hear was Louis' breath getting shakier, like he was about to cry. After a long moment of silence Louis started to talk again.

 _"Nothing... nothing happened..."_ he paused and exhaled loudly, he was trying not to burst into tears " _I was in this club and- and I saw you, I swear you were there! You were having fun with someone that wasn't **me**." _he stopped talking again, his voice was higher, no longer soft and he seemed... _jealous_? Harry was more than confused, why was Louis jealous?

" ** _Lou_** _, what are you talking about? I'm at home._ "

 _"Yours or_ ** _our home?_** "

Harry closed his eyes shut, biting his bottom lip. He thought his heart skipped a beat, his head was floating and he was feeling dizzy. After breaking up they decided to stay friends, like they were before starting their relationship. They thought what happened between them didn't ruin their special bond and that now, after a bit more than two years, everything was solved between them. Harry was always there for Louis and Louis was always there for Harry, they have _always_ been by each other's side and they have _always_ showed their support, especially during the toughest times of their lives. However, after their break up they didn't talk that much about _them_ and Harry thought he had moved on, and so did Louis. Hearing his words, hearing Louis' saying _our home_ in that moment was like getting hit by all their memories all at once.

" _Louis, where are you? Why aren't you at Zayn's?_ "

Louis and Zayn finally reconnected about one year ago, they solved all of their problems and when Louis told Zayn about what happened with Harry, Zayn offered him a place to stay. He's been there for Louis and helped him to recollect all his broken pieces. They were best friends again, everything was like nothing ever happened between the two, no fights, no bad words, absolutely nothing.

" _Umh no, I'm out. I was... I was in a club with Liam, b-but when I saw you I closed myself in the bathroom._ " Louis left out a little sigh. He looked down at his feet and tried to calm down his heartbeat, he squeezed his eyes and tried to focus on breathing.

Breathe in through the nose, breathe out through the mouth. And then he started to talk again.

" _When I came out of the bathroom he wasn't there anymore. He left me alone. Everybody always leave me **alone**._" Louis said softly, almost inaudible and hung up. 

Those last words hit Harry right in the face. They kept echoing in his head for a while before he found the strength to sit properly on his bed. He looked down at his phone, asking himself if he should call Louis again. He suddenly stood up, wore some random clothes, put on a pair of Old Skool vans (he should've thrown them away because they reminded him of his _ex_ ) and called Louis again. And again. And again.

When he was about to give up, Louis finally answered him. Harry quickly asked where he was and said firmly that he was going to pick him up, no objection. Louis gave him the name of the club and didn't say anything else; he felt bad for what happened that night, he didn't mean to ruin the friendship they tried to recreate but _all_ he needed in that moment was Harry, _his_ Harry.

While waiting for Harry to arrive, Louis was sitting on the sidewalk, elbows on his tights and face buried in his hands. Why did he call Harry? He could've called Liam or Zayn, even Niall was a better option, but why Harry? As if it wasn't enough, he embarrassed himself by telling him about what he saw! Now he probably thinks that he was hallucinating, that he's crazy or on drugs. Louis closed his eyes and raised his head, breathed in, his lungs filled up with cold air and scrunched his nose because of the strange smell of gasoline coming from the street. He heard the noise of a car stopping near him, but he didn't open his eyes yet: he didn't want to see Harry. He didn't want to see his face, those pretty, green eyes staring at him, his little smile and that bloody dimple. He didn't want to see his pitiful expression or his _frog face_ whenever Louis' said something funny. He didn't want to see the face of the man he was still in love with because he _knew_ that Harry had moved on. 

When he felt a warm grip on his shoulder, he recognised that soft touch and all he could feel was shivers along his spine and stomach full of those annoying butterflies. He hated that feeling, not because it was unpleasant, but because Harry shouldn't be the reason. Harry was always the _reason_. Louis opened his eyes and when he met the other man's eyes his heart skipped a beat. It has been almost one full year since they've seen each other and yet Harry is still breathtakingly beautiful. Louis felt like he was about to cry, how could he be real? Maybe he was really hallucinating, maybe he was really on drugs. 

" ** _Lou_** _, get up, I'll bring you **home**._" Harry said softly, rubbing Louis' back trying to comfort him, trying to let the other man know that everything was okay, he shouldn't be sad or ashamed. Harry was _there_ for him. 

" _Maybe I should call Zayn and tell him you're taking me home.. Maybe call Liam too, to let him know I'm okay._ " Louis marked his last words as if he was trying to say it to himself, because _he was okay_ , wasn't he? He stood up and looked down, trying to avoid Harry's little smile. Why was he even smiling? The whole situation was a mess and he was smiling! The audacity...

" _Don't worry Lou, I've already sent Liam a message and called Zayn while coming here. Now get in the car_."

Louis sighed and got into Harry's car, immediately reaching for his phone, trying to look occupied just to avoid Harry. However, the younger man noticed his intentions and tried to suppress a laugh. He knew every single move of the older man: whenever he felt embarrassed, uncomfortable or even sad Louis picked his phone and tried to look busy messaging with someone, in reality he was just scrolling through his photos. Harry glanced at Louis and bit the inside of his cheek: Louis' side profile is a work of art, it's sharp and soft at the same time, his nose is literally perfect and he has a hint of beard too, which frames his jawline and his sharp cheekbones. Louis suddenly turned and was now facing Harry, who was still admiring the older one: his eyes are blue, so blue that Harry thought he could drown in only by looking at them. Louis has always been _blue_ and Harry loved _his_ blue.

The ride to Zayn's place was silent, way too much silent. Louis kept looking at his phone, scrolling through his photos and old messages between him and Liam; Harry was driving calmly, hands clenched around the wheel. Harry wanted to say something, to check if Louis was _really_ fine, but he was afraid of his reaction because it looked like he didn't want to talk at all. As soon as Harry stopped in front of Zayn's house, he looked at Louis and noticed that he had fallen asleep. He looked so peaceful and tiny, all wrapped in his big jacket; Harry didn't want to wake him up. He smiled and slowly moved a hand on Louis' cheek, caressing it softly: even though he had a bit of beard, his skin was still soft and smooth.

" _Louis, wake up_ " Harry moved his hand on his head and passed his fingers through his hair, gently. Louis opened his eyes and rubbed his eyes, scrunching his nose before yawning. Harry's heart melted. 

" _Thanks for the ride, Harry. Sorry if I woke you up._ "

" _Don't worry, it's okay. Guess I'll see you around, yeah?_ "

Louis nodded and got out of the car, looked back at Harry and hinted a smile. 

" _Goodnight, **Harold**_." Louis closed the door and towards the place he shared with Zayn. 

" _Goodnight, **Lou**._" Said Harry, even though Louis couldn't hear him. He watched as the brunette disappeared behind that door. A sudden burst of sadness invaded his body. Why was he feeling so _weird_? Seeing Louis so vulnerable, hearing his voice again after _so long_ woke something inside his heart, something that he thought was never gonna come out again. He thought he had locked his feelings, but he was _wrong_. 

His feelings were _wrong_.

Harry knew that Louis had moved on, that his ' _I miss you_ ' didn't mean anything. Louis was drunk, it was surely a mistake.

Louis had moved on and Harry had to do the same.


	2. Sweet Disposition.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again!  
> How is everyone? Let me know in the comments.
> 
> So here is chapter two! Let me know what do you think about this one down in the comments.  
> Next chapter will be out soon! (As I said at the beginning of chapter one, I'll try my best to update once a week.)  
> You can also find me on twitter (@princexxpark), you can send me dms with your thoughts and suggestions.
> 
> Now I'm gonna leave you to the story, have fun!  
> Love whoever you want and be kind, always!  
> Bye for now.  
> Els ◟̽◞̽

That night, after arriving at home at _five in the morning_ , Harry didn't sleep a wink, he kept on thinking about Louis. Every time he tried to close his eyes that message popped up:

' _Harry, I miss you_.'

Harry was terribly frustrated. He continued to turn over in his bed, trying to fall asleep and at rest for more than twenty minutes, but soon he gave up. He stood up and wore his slippers ( _obviously_ the ones Louis bought for Christmas years ago), he slowly walked towards the kitchen, then poured himself a glass of cold water. Almost one year later since they last saw each other, before that night, Harry thought that he had moved on, he even started to think about dating someone new, about making new experiences and new memories, until that night he thought that what he had with Louis didn’t mean anything anymore, that the brunette was nothing more than a close friend. They were _just_ friends. Harry scrolled his shoulders and put the glass on the counter, before heading to the bathroom. He turned on the water and got in the shower: the warm water hit him on his back and the vapour hugged him completely, making him feel safe and calm. He closed his eyes and let the hot water stream on his shoulders, relaxing his tensed muscles. He was so tensed and _scared_ because of this whole situation, because of his feelings; he didn't want to mess it up, not with him, not again. After a while, he got out of the shower and wrapped himself up in a huge, soft towel. Harry yawned and looked at his phone to see what time it was: _half past eight_ and he didn't have time to go back to sleep, or at least to try to sleep. A new message appeared on the screen.

“ _Hey Haz, wanna go grab some breakfast? I have nothing to do today, we could spend some time together._ ”

" _Yes, Ni, give me ten minutes. See you soon._ "

Niall, the only person he wanted to see that day. He has always been his safe place, his best friend; he wasn't like Louis, obviously, he was a _real_ best friend: whenever Harry needed help, a shoulder to cry on after a fight with Louis, after a tough day, Niall was there, like a big brother. Since the very beginning they got along really well and almost eight years later they were still the same two goofy boys.

Harry put the phone away on the dining table and headed back to his room to find something to wear: he wasn't in the mood for fashionable clothes, so he wore a plain, black t-shirt and a pair of cuffed jeans, high, white socks and again his Old Skool vans. He should definitely get rid of those shoes. His style today was anonymous and simple, he wasn't feeling _himself_ at all that day. Harry looked at his reflection in the mirror and his eyes widened, he looked devastated. He sighed and grabbed his phone, keys and headed out of his house. Once he got on his car, he turned on the radio and started to drive. Suddenly he tightened his grip on the wheel and bit his bottom lip.

_Sweet Disposition._

Harry hadn't listened to that song in ages, especially since he and Louis broke up. That was the song that was playing the night Harry said ‘ _I love you_ ’ for the first time. He meant it, he _loved_ Louis, he felt like opening up about his feeling because everything felt _right_ in that moment. All the memories about that night in Wellington resurfaced and invaded Harry's mind. They were young and in love, but they weren't free. _Freedom_ was the reason why everything ended, they couldn't continue to live like that: closeted and afraid. They thought their love was stronger than anything else, that they could make it together but eventually everything was _too much_. When the band decided to start their "eighteen months" long hiatus, Harry and Louis thought that they could use that time to do normal things but in the end, when the hiatus continued and they started their solo careers, they decided to end their relationship because, even though they weren't in a band anymore, they were still under a contract which prevented them to be completely _free_.

As soon as the song ended, Harry parked his car and sent a message to Niall to check if he was already there. 

" _Haz, lad, you look terrible! What happened to your pretty face?_ "

Louis, Louis happened, but he couldn't say what was going on, not yet. " _Nothing, didn't sleep much, wrote something new._ " He shrugged his shoulders, trying to sound convincing.

" _Oh that's amazing.. well I'm sorry that you didn't sleep, but c'mon show me what you've got! I'm curious."_

 _Fuck_. Okay, he didn't write anything and now needed an excuse to cover up his excuse... " _Umh I don't have it right now? I mean.. I wrote it on a piece of paper and.. and I left it at home, you know how it works..._ " 

Niall looked at him and frowned his eyebrows. " _Yes, I know how it works._ "

Harry thought that Niall believed in what he said and hinted a smile, walking towards the little café where they usually spent most of their mornings. After sitting at one of the small tables and ordering their breakfast, the irish man broke the silence.

" _Haz, you know.. we've been best friends for a long time now._ _I know you, I can tell when you’re lying._ " He said calmly, rising an eyebrow and looking directly at Harry, who was now looking down at the table. " _Why are you lying to me? You know you can always talk to me._ "

Harry felt terrible. He knew that Niall was there and has always been there for him, but he didn't know why he felt the need to lie to him. " _I'm sorry, Ni. It's been a long night and I didn't know what to say."_

" _Oh, were you with someone?_ " He asked excitedly, smiling widely. 

" _Yes, actually, but it's not like it seems._ " How did it seem? He didn't know either.

" _Did you at least have fun? Were they nice?_ " 

" _Umh, actually I was with, you know.. with Lou._ " 

Niall's reaction was priceless: he widened his eyes and his jaw dropped, put his cup full of coffee on the table and tried not to cough. Harry didn't know if he should be worried about his best friend nearly choking or if he should be laughing because of his reaction.

" _You were with who!? Why!?_ " Harry certainly didn't expect Niall to react like that but, honestly, it was funny.

" _Well, you know.. it was three in the morning and I was sleeping, then my phone woke me up and hesentmeamessageandsaidthathemissedme."_ He said quickly, he's never spoken that fast in his entire life, only in Canada when they were talking about poutine. 

" _Wow, Haz slow down! Breathe! Repeat what you said._ "

" _He sent me a message and said that he missed me._ " Niall was visibly shocked, so Harry kept on talking. " _He was drunk, very drunk and he also called me. I felt sorry for him, you know.. Liam left him alone, so I picked him up and brought him back at Zayn's. Nothing more, I swear._ "

" _How do you feel about what happened? I thought you were just friends._ "

" _We are!"_ He said louder than he intended. " _I mean.. I was missing him too, then he sent me that message and I didn't know what to say, I was worried._ " He sighed and looked down, playing nervously with his rings. " _I just.. I don't know. He looked so small and cute, I wanted to.. hug him? Ugh, I know he moved on, I'm well aware but he makes me feel... he makes me feel things._ "

" _Harry, some people take more time to move on than others and you know that._ " Niall said softly, hinting a little smile. " _You've been_ _together for years and yours was a serious relationship. Even if you think he moved on, it doesn't necessarily mean that he did.. He said that he misses you. Maybe I'm completely wrong, but you won't know if you two don't talk about your relationship seriously. It's been almost two years now, you have to talk._ "

Harry didn't say a thing, he just continued to play with his rings and, when it arrived, he ate his breakfast. Niall was right, they had to talk about _them_ but he wasn't ready yet, too many feelings involved. He would talk to Louis, for sure, but only when he was _ready_.

As soon as they finished their breakfast, they paid and went back to Harry's car. Harry leaned against the vehicle and looked at Niall, who was standing right in front of him. The irish man put his hands on Harry's shoulders and looked at him directly in his eyes.

" _Promise me that you'll talk to him, Haz. You can't always avoid that conversation because you can't handle your feelings when you're around him. Just, promise me that, okay? "_

Harry smiled shyly and nodded. " _I promise, Ni. See you tomorrow, maybe?_ "

" _Yeah, I'll send you a message. Love you, Haz._ " He said and turned around, walking back to his car.

In that moment Harry only wanted to go home, lay on his bed and disappear: that's how he usually avoided the world. He was an adult but he couldn't handle all those responsibilities, so he preferred to behave like a child. Everything in that moment was too much, it has always been too much and now that his feelings for Louis where back (they've never left, but he kept them locked in the back of his heart) he didn't know what to do anymore.

Should he call him? Should he send him a message? Should he go to Zayn's house and ask Louis to talk, right there, right now? No, the last option was definitely the most difficult to handle. 

The ride back home was quiet, he didn't even turn on the radio, he just wanted to listen to the silence. Worst idea ever. He started to think again, about everything and about nothing, about his solo career and about the band, about his music and about his feelings, about his family and about Louis. He was once again in his head and he appeared as soon as he started to think about his family, because he was his family. He was his family when he moved to London after the XFactor, when he was only sixteen, he was his family when they were on tour, he was his family when they shared hotel rooms, he was his family when they went on their secret holidays, he was his family when the band had their days off and they spent some time alone in their house. Louis has always been his _family_ , since the beginning. Louis has always been his _home_. After their break up Harry didn't feel at home anywhere, neither in London nor in LA, he felt _homeless_ , alone and lost.

He had to talk to him.

* * *

The rest of the day went on pretty well, he didn't do much: he called his mum and his sister, he finally slept for more than one hour and tired to write something, not a full song yet. Now he was laying on the sofa, looking for something to watch (with no results, as always), when he decided that he needed to do something because he was definitely bored. He picked his phone and tried to call Niall but he didn't answer, so he tried to call Liam but he didn't answer either, he didn't call neither Zayn nor Louis, the older one was absolutely his last option. After calling a bunch of other friends, who were all busy because " _we have to work tomorrow_ ", Harry gave up. He got up from his huge sofa and went to the kitchen, taking one beer from the fridge and opening it. He went back sitting on the sofa and picked up his phone, scrolling through his social medias: he wasn't active anymore, only when necessary. Honestly, he didn't like those "places" anymore, they weren't good for his mental health, too much hate and negativity. However, that night he didn't have anything better to do, so he decided to check twitter; it was full of the same things, no originality, always full of drama and mean comments. Harry rolled his eyes and ignored as many tweets as he could before logging out of his account: he didn't even have the app on his phone.

Harry yawned and looked around: silence. He had turned off the TV and now everything was disturbingly quiet; he hated to live alone in such a big house. He looked back at his phone and decided to do something he should've done way before but didn't because he thought it was a stupid idea. He scrolled through his contacts and, when he found who he was looking for, he started to type a message.

" _Hey Zayn, sorry.. am I bothering you?_ " He hesitated before sending that message, but eventually he took courage.

Zayn's answer didn't take long to arrive. " _Hey Harry. No, you're not bothering me. What's up?_ "

" _Not much, is everything alright there? You know, after what happened this morning._ " He typed quickly and bit the inside of his cheek.

" _Yeah, we're fine. I mean, I'm definitely fine, Lou is a bit.. worn out, he didn't sleep much._ "

Harry's stomach twisted. He knew Louis has always had troubles sleeping, he spent nights cuddling him to sleep and always with an eye open to check if he was really asleep. " _Ohw, I hope it gets better.. Umh, can we meet tomorrow? Are you free?_ "

" _Yes, of course. In the afternoon, I have some work to do in the morning._ " 

" _Yeah.. yeah it's perfect. See you tomorrow, at mine maybe?_ " He was nervous, so nervous that his hands were shaking.

" _Perfect. Now, I have to go, goodnight Harry._ " 

He didn't answer this time, but he let out a little sigh. Was he ready? No. Did he need to talk to Zayn to check if Louis was okay? Yes. Did he want to talk to Louis? Not yet. 

After that quick conversation, he went to his bedroom and jumped on his bed, burying his face in the pillow. He slowly fell asleep, thinking about _him_ and how badly he wanted things to be _normal_ again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me just add one more thing: I know it's a bit slow now, but I don't want things to happen quickly.  
> These first chapters are gonna be a bit slow and short, but I have to set things up before things really start. 
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoyed the chapter, see you next week!  
> Bye for now.  
> Els ◟̽◞̽


	3. I need some sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again!  
> How is everyone? Let me know in the comments.
> 
> So here is chapter three! Let me know what do you think about this one down in the comments.  
> You can also find me on twitter (@princexxpark), you can send me dms with your thoughts and suggestions.
> 
> Now I'm gonna leave you to the story, have fun! Next chapter will be out next week, as soon as my exams are over!  
> Love whoever you want and be kind, always!  
> Bye for now.  
> Els ◟̽◞̽

Louis opened his eyes and rubbed them with his hands, half covered with the sleeves of his oversized hoodie. He slowly changed position and sat down on the sofa, looking around to see if Zayn was back home. 

Louis was so happy that the things between him and Zayn were finally solved, all their problems were gone. Zayn was again his best friend and spending time with him really boosted his mood. Louis loved to live with him, he was caring and always there to help him when he was feeling blue; sometimes he even spent the night with him in his bed when he had troubles falling asleep. They spent countless nights on the sofa, Louis curled against Zayn, head on his shoulder while watching tv or just talking. Louis was glad to have him back in his life, especially after what happened in the last few years. 

“ _Zay? Are you home?_ ” He shouted, still half asleep.

“ _Yes buddy, I’m in the kitchen. Do you need something?_ ”

“ _Can you.. can you just come here?_ ” 

Louis heard strange noises coming from the kitchen and then Zayn’s steps. The dark-haired man sat down on the sofa, next to him and softly smiled.

“ _Hey sleepy head, how are you feeling today?_ ” He asked and rubbed the other man’s soft, caramel hair.

“ _Less tired, I guess. I fell asleep here when you left earlier._ ” He murmured and changed position: he laid down again and put his head on Zayn’s tights, face up to look at him. He yawned again, lulled by his soft touch.

“ _Do you have any plans for today? Because I’ll be home around seven. I need to do an important thing._ ”

“ _I can call Liam and see if he wants to do something._ ” Louis closed his eyes and sighed. “ _Do you have to work again? I thought you only had a meeting this morning._ ”

“ _Well.. I have to see a friend, he asked me if I was free and it’s been a while since we last saw each other._ ” Zayn was talking softly and he kept on caressing Louis’ head. 

“ _Oh, that’s great. Do I know him?_ ” 

Zayn hesitated for a minute before answering Louis' question. " _Well, it's Harry..._ " 

Louis bit the inside of his cheek nervously and his face turned pale. Why did he want to talk with Zayn? Was because of what happened that night? He knew he fucked up, but didn't think things were that bad! Harry and Zayn were friends, obviously, but they usually talked through messages, it's been a lot since they saw each other.. Louis was genuinely worried.

" _Lou, c'mon, it's not that bad! Why are you so nervous?_ "

" _I'm not nervous, I'm fine. I promise._ " Of course he wasn't fine, but if Harry needed to see Zayn it must've been important, and Louis was not that _important_.

" _Listen, trust me okay? I'm not gonna say anything, don't worry Lou._ " He hinted a little smile and patted Louis' chest. " _Now, get up! I have to go. Don't destroy the house while you're alone or with Liam._ " 

Louis giggled and got up, stretched his arms and picked his phone from his pocket. He looked for Liam's number and sent him a message, asking to come over. Before leaving the house, Zayn got close to Louis and pulled him into a hug, rubbing gently his back. 

" _See you soon, Tommo._ " The dark-haired man whispered in his ear and then left the house. Louis was now alone, waiting for Liam to arrive. 

* * *

Harry was sitting on the floor, next to his couch while waiting for Zayn to arrive. He was playing his guitar, trying to figure out a new melody that suited his new song; he didn’t finish the lyrics yet, but last night when he was trying to fall asleep he came up with something and now he wanted to try it. Harry got distracted by the bell ringing, so he put down the guitar and walked to the door to check if Zayn was already there. When he opened the door, the man in front of him smiled widely and pulled him into a hug.

“ _Harry! Long time no see!_ ” Harry giggled on Zayn’s shoulder and invited him in. He closed the door and headed to the living room. 

“ _Make yourself at home, would you like something to drink?_ ”

“ _I’m fine, thank you. How are you feeling, though? You seem wrecked._ ”

Harry scrunched his nose: it wasn’t the first time that someone noticed his dark bags under his eyes and he felt exposed. He should really call his doctor to see if he could take some kind of pills to at least rest a bit at night. 

“ _I’m fine, i just didn’t sleep.. I’m working on something and it keeps me up all night._ ” He smiled shyly and sat down on his couch, inviting Zayn to do the same.

“ _I see, can I help maybe?_ ”

“ _Mh, not really, it’s pretty personal._ ”

“ _Okay.. so, why did you need to see me? I know it’s not because you missed me._ ”

Harry knew that Zayn wasn’t stupid, so he wasn’t surprised by his statement.

“ _Well, you know.. about what happened recently._ ” He coughed a bit, he did it a lot when he was nervous. “ _I was wondering.. how is he really? I mean, he didn’t seem the same, you know? Like, he was drunk but there was something in his eyes, they didn’t look quite the same._ ”

Harry knew Louis’ eyes, he spent countless hours drowning into them. Usually they had that sparkle which made them shine, but that night they seemed off. 

“ _He’s just going through a lot._ ” Zayn sighed, visibly worried. “ _It’s too much for him right now, he needs some time to recover properly. It’s tough, you know._ ”

Harry nodded and looked down at the floor; he knew it was tough for him, he knew it well. He just wanted to check if he was okay even though he knew what the answer was. He shifted position and leaned completely against the couch, head thrown back. 

“ _I miss him too._ ” He murmured and closed his eyes, covering his face with his hands. “ _I don’t want to fuck things up with him, not again… but I miss him too much._ ”

“ _Harry... you should talk with him. He misses you too, but don’t ever tell him I’ve said this to you._ ” Zayn tried to suppress a giggle. “ _Maybe call him, mh?_ ” 

Harry slowly raised his head and looked at Zayn, biting the inside of his cheek. He wanted to call him, but he wasn’t feeling ready yet, but he would’ve done it soon... maybe not so soon, but he was definitely gonna call him.

“ _Thank you, really._ ” He smiled at the man next to him. “ _And you? How are things for you?_ ”

" Well, _everything is going pretty well. I’m happy that everything with Louis is finally fine and I’m still in contact with Liam, we see each other a lot. The three of us are all friends, again. It’s great._ ” 

“ _How’s Liam? Haven’t seen him in months!_ ” It was nice to talk about the boys like that, they haven’t had the chance to spend some time together, they were all pretty busy with interviews, shows and promotions. “ _I see Niall everyday basically, he lives down the street._ ” 

“ _That’s amazing! We should try to organise something easy, you know, just to catch up on about our lives and stuff._ ” 

Harry tilted his head, that was definitely a good idea. It would be a great occasion to see his four best friends all together in the same room and talk about everything, like they used to do when they were in the band, before Zayn left them. 

“ _Yeah, yeah we should._ ” Actually, he was a bit scared about being in the same room with Louis for more than half an hour, but he missed the boys, so what happened between them shouldn’t be an obstacle.

Zayn looked down at his phone to check the time. “ _Oh, time flies.. I should go home, I promised Louis to be back around seven and I’m already late._ ” He giggled and stood up.

Harry stood up as well and didn’t complain when Zayn pulled him into another hug, before leaving the house. 

His house was now empty again so he decided to go back to what he was doing before Zayn’s visit. He picked up his guitar and sat down on the floor, starting to work again.

* * *

Louis was sitting on the couch next to Liam and they were playing Fifa. Well, honestly Louis wasn’t much concentrated and Liam already won like three times, but it didn’t really matter. He was distracted, he wanted to know how things went between Zayn and Harry; hopefully Zayn didn’t say a single thing about him. 

“ _Tommo you seem off today, is everything alright?_ ” Liam’s voice brought him back to reality.

“ _Yeah, yeah I’m alright, just a bit tired._ ” 

“ _You know you can always talk to me._ ” 

“ _Yeah, I know.. thanks buddy._ ”

Louis turned to face Liam and smiled. Soon he started to play again and this time, he didn’t know how, he managed to win. They heard the door opening and then closing, Zayn must’ve been back. 

“ _Louis, you small idiot, I’m back!_ ” Zayn shouted while heading to the living room. “ _Oh, Liam, you’re here!_ ” He smiled widely, sitting down between the two.

“ _I am not small, dumbass! I’m 5’9!_ ” Louis said, hitting Zayn’s shoulder. 

“ _Yeah 5’9 shorter than us._ ” Liam said, voice low hoping that Louis didn’t hear him.

“ _I heard what you said, you giant idiot!_ ”

Zayn was holding in a laughter and so was Liam. It was always like that for them, they always acted like three kids: Liam and Zayn joked about Louis’ height and he simply flipped them off. 

“ _So, how did it went with Harry?_ ” Louis asked Zayn, while sitting with his legs crossed and covering his knees with his hoodie.

“ _Really well actually, we just chatted a bit and decided to organise something together._ ”

“ _Wow, that’s a great idea, isn’t it Lou?_ ” 

Louis glared at Liam and then looked at Zayn. “ _Well I don’t kn-_ ”

Liam immediately interrupted him. “ _No, I don’t wanna hear a single complain._ ”

“ _But…_ ” Louis tried to answer back, but Zayn interrupted him too.

“ _No but, we’re doing it, whether if you like it or not._ ” Zayn and Liam smiled proudly. 

“ _And you’re coming too!_ ” They said together; they were creepy.

“ _Ugh, okay! I see you’re both against me. Great friends I have, really great._ ” Louis complained ironically and tried not to laugh.

After joking around together for a bit more and eating dinner, Liam went back home, but before made Louis promise that he won’t complain ever again about doing a reunion with the boys (obviously he wasn't referring to a reunion of the band). 

Louis and Zayn spent their night on the sofa, watching old movies and talking about how bad the special effects were. Everything was calm and peaceful, in fact the younger man fell asleep on the couch while the third movie was still playing; Louis didn’t want to wake him up, but he did so that he could go to bed. Eventually Louis went to his room too and tried to quickly fall asleep: he didn’t want to spend another night overthinking.

* * *

(if you want, listen to the song while reading this last part <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bgNCWZR31KQ> )

_I need some sleep_

_You can’t go home like this_

_I tried counting sheep_

_But there’s one I always miss_

Louis was laying on his bed, facing the ceiling and trying to find a method to fell back asleep. He woke up suddenly after sleeping for an hour because of a nightmare. He had a huge fight with someone, an unidentified person and he ended up shouting “ _Zayn, Zayn!_ ” but he didn’t come. He sighed and closed his eyes again, trying to concentrate on breathing.

_Everyone says I’m getting down to low_

_Everyone says you just gotta let it go_

_You just gotta let it go_

_You just gotta let it go_

Louis’ head was full of thoughts. He didn’t want Zayn to leave him again, it was terrified about that idea. He didn’t want to ruin things with Harry. Oh, there _he_ was, again. Harry was the main characters in his thoughts, in his mind and in his heart. Louis didn’t want to lose him, even though their relationship had changed.

_I need some sleep_

_Time to put the old horse down_

_I'm in too deep_

_And the wheels keep spinning round_

Harry was in his bed, wrapped up in his blankets. He suddenly woke up after sleeping for less than two hours because of a nightmare. He was walking along the street at night and there was a light right in front of him; a familiar silhouette was standing right in the middle of the light and he tried to reach that person. He heard a voice calling his name for help but the more he walked the more this person seemed distant. He couldn’t reach them.

_Everyone says I'm getting down to low_

_Everyone says you just gotta let it go_

_You just gotta let it go_

_You just gotta let it go_

Harry’s head was once again on another planet. He was thinking so much that you could see his brain working through his green eyes. He wanted to save that person, he felt useless because he couldn’t reach them. He wanted to help Louis somehow, he wanted to be there for him and to be the shoulder he could cry on, he wanted to make him feel safe and loved. Louis was the main character in his thoughts, in his mind and in his heart.

_You just gotta let it go_

Louis and Harry had to _let it go_ . Louis and Harry had to accept their feelings and accept that what they had wasn’t over and won’t be over. They had to have that conversation, they had to express their feelings, not because they were hurt by them to the point they couldn’t even sleep, but because they were hurt to the point they couldn’t even _breathe_. 

_You just gotta let it go_

They knew that loving someone could hurt, but they didn’t imagine that they would feel like a piece of their heart was living in someone else’s body. 

_You just gotta let it go_

Louis and Harry needed to be together. Louis and Harry needed their hearts to be _complete_ again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh and this will be the last "short" chapter, from chapter 4 the story will officially begin! This first three chapters were a kind of long introduction, I hope that you liked them!


	4. I am sorry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again!  
> How is everyone? Let me know in the comments.
> 
> So here is chapter four! Let me know what do you think about this one down in the comments.  
> You can also find me on twitter (@princexxpark), you can send me dms with your thoughts and suggestions.
> 
> Now I'm gonna leave you to the story, have fun! Next chapter will be out hopefully next week!  
> Love whoever you want and be kind, always!  
> Bye for now.  
> Els ◟̽◞̽

_*Zayn added you to the group chat*_

Harry saw the notification popping up and clicked on it. What group chat was that? _Oh._ So they were really going to organise that “reunion”. Honestly, Harry thought that it was just one of those things that you say when you talk with an old friend and that you forget as soon as you leave them, but apparently it wasn't like that at all. 

Other notifications popped up and Harry decided to open the chat again.

 **_Zayn:_ ** _Hello everyone. I made this group so that it could be easier to organise everything._

 **_Liam:_ ** _For once you had a good idea, eh? Incredible._

Harry laughed and went back to his bedroom, laying down on his bed.

 **_Niall:_ ** _Do you have any idea about when we could do this?_

 **_Zayn:_ ** _I was thinking about this Saturday?_

This Saturday. Wait.. Saturday was in _two_ days! He was about to see them in two days, he was about to see _Louis_ in two days, after what happened that night. 

**_Niall:_ ** _Perfect! I have nothing to do._

 **_Liam:_ ** _I’m in!_

_I’m in too._

Harry sent the last message and bit his bottom lip, waiting for some kind of reply from the other boys.. well mostly he wanted to see if Louis was going to send a message as well.

_Lou is typing…_

Then nothing.

_Lou is typing…_

Nothing again.

_Lou is typing…_

**_Lou:_ ** _Fine._

Just fine? More than ten minutes only to write “fine”? Harry sighed, visibly nervous and frustrated. He wasn't ready to see him, what were they going to do? Not talk to each other at all? Just a little smile to say hello? Completely ignoring what happened and talk normally? 

**_Niall:_ ** _Perfect! Where then?_

 **_Zayn:_ ** _I was thinking about doing it here? Since basically Liam lives here with me and Louis._

 **_Liam:_ ** _Actually, I don't live there, I just eat with you sometimes._

 **_Lou:_ ** _Yes, every day._

_It’s okay for me._

Harry quickly answered them and threw his phone on the other side of the bed. He sighed once again and stared at the ceiling. He was gonna see him soon and he didn't know how to behave. He rolled on his side and reached again for his phone, searching for Niall’s number; when he found it, he sent him a short, clear message.

“ _EMERGENCY! Come here asap, please!”_

Niall read the message after literally one second, but didn't answer. Harry figured that he didn't because he was actually going at his house, if he was busy he would've answered him.

Harry was now lying on his stomach, face buried in his mattress while waiting for Niall, who arrived after only fifteen minutes. Harry heard the irish one opening the door with the key he gave him a few months ago, when he was going through a pretty dark period. 

“ _Harry! What’s happening?_ ” Niall shouted from the entrance and Harry heard his steps getting closer to his room.

“ _Ni, come here!_ ”

Niall entered his bedroom and sit down on the bed, next to Harry.

“ _What happened? You scared me, dumb idiot!_ ”

“ _There’s no need to be worried.._ ” Harry whispered and reached for Niall’s hand and started to play with his fingers.

“ _Why did you write ‘EMERGENCY’, then? What’s the emerge- Oh no._ ” 

Harry looked up at Niall and softly smiled, continuing to play with the man’s fingers. He knew what was about to happen, he new Niall.

“ _You interrupted my work because, tell me if I’m wrong, you’re scared about seeing Louis on Saturday?_ ” He seemed quite chill, he didn't look like he was mad.

“ _Do you want me to be honest?_ ”

“ _Harry!_ ”

“ _Fine! Okay.. yes, that’s what I did._ ” He admitted softly, looking down at their hands. “ _But, in my defence, you’re the only one I can always call.”_

Niall freed one hand and pointed his index at him. “ _Don't you dare trying to boost my ego, Harold._ ”

Harry giggled and sat with his legs crossed. “ _In two days I’m gonna see Lou, after what happened last week.._ ”

“ _And? I mean, it’s great, we’re gonna be all together!_ ”

“ _Yes, it is! But I need clothes._ ” Harry grabbed his face with his hands and sighed. “ _Not because I wanna look good for him, just to be clear._ ”

“ _Yes, of course._ ” Niall tried not to laugh.

“ _You must come with me, be my shopping assistant._ ” Harry removed his hands from his face and looked at the man in front of him. 

“ _What do I get from this?_ ”

“ _A hug? Cuddles?_ ” Harry pouted and continued to look at Niall, trying to convince him.

Niall shook his head and stood up and glanced at him. “ _Okay, let’s go, I don’t have all afternoon._ ”

Harry stood up as well, quickly wore a pair of pink vans (yes, he really liked vans at the moment and yes, he loved to wear pink, especially when he was wearing a total black look) and took his phone. He took his car’s keys and headed out with his friend. They both got into his car and started to drive to the shopping mall. While he was driving, Niall put on some music and started to sing, so Harry joined him. It was always fun to go around the city with Niall, he really enjoyed spending time together with him, just driving, singing and casually chatting about everything. 

Once they’ve parked the car, they got inside the huge building and immediately looked for Harry’s biggest love: the Gucci shop. He loved Gucci a bit too much, but those clothes made him comfortable and he felt handsome wearing them, even if it was just a pair of jeans. In fact, he ended up buying just a pair of white trousers that fit him perfectly, at least it was what Niall said. He really wanted to look good that night, obviously not because he hoped Louis would look at him, _obviously_. He didn’t want to look good for him, he did it mostly for himself, but if that means that Louis would look at him the whole time, well it was even better. 

When they left the shop, they continued shopping for a while and bought a bunch of other things, both clothes and useless crazy socks (because Niall was obsessed with those and Harry kind of liked them too). They decided to go into another shop to buy some workout clothes and while heading there, they noticed three familiar silhouettes. _No fucking way._

“ _Niall we have to leave this place now._ ” Harry said quickly, grabbing Niall’s arm and pulling him towards the exit.

“ _Wow Haz, calm down what’s wrong!?_ ” Niall looked confused, maybe he didn't see what Harry saw.

“ _They’re here, he’s here! We need to leave cause I can’t see him right now, I have two more days to prepare myself_.”

“ _Harold, you’re acting like a child._ ” Niall sighed and followed him outside of the building.

“ _No, I am not. I’m just hungry, I needed an excuse._ ”

“ _Do you think I’m dumb?_ ”

“ _Yes?_ ” Harry tried to answer and to sound a bit convincing. Obviously he didn't think that Niall was dumb, at all.. just sometimes, maybe? Anyway, that wasn't the point, he didn't want to meet him that day like that, it would've been awkward. 

“ _Let’s go back to my place._ ” Harry suggested while walking towards his car. “ _I reckon I promised you cuddles as a reward._ ”

Niall looked at him with a strange expression, like he was really thinking about whether to say yes or no to Harry’s idea.

“ _Okay, let’s go._ ” He finally spoke. “ _But if you don't sort whatever that is with him, I swear I’m gonna cut your hair in your sleep._ ”

* * *

Louis that afternoon decided to go shopping with Liam and Zayn. He needed new clothes and Zayn needed to buy some things for whatever was happening on Saturday. Louis was happy, definitely, he really wanted to see Niall again but the whole situation with Harry was weird. They haven't said a single thing about what happened last week: Louis hasn't texted Harry and Harry hasn't texted Louis either; no calls, nothing.

The three of them were all inside one of those grocery stores because they had to buy some food, so they decided to stop there. Louis had already bought some new clothes, even something for the awaited event. He was actually planning on wearing some cool new clothes, because he liked how he looked into those new items and because he deserved to feel beautiful. They were in a queue waiting to pay; Louis was just casually scrolling through Instagram and answering to a few old messages when he heard a familiar voice saying something out loud. Was it Niall’s voice? He turned around to see if it really was him, but he didn’t see anyone. 

“ _Lou, what’s up?_ ” Liam asked and Louis turned again, now facing him. 

“ _I thought I heard Niall._ ” Louis shrugged his shoulders. “ _I guess I was wrong._ ” He hinted a laugh and put his phone away while walking next to Liam towards Zayn, who was waiting for them in front of the building’s exit.

The three headed back to Liam’s car while chatting about what they should organise that Saturday, because it was a special occasion and didn’t want to look like they didn’t care about it at all. Louis wasn’t really paying attention; of course he wanted it to be a great time for them all, but he thought that it wasn’t necessary to exaggerate because when they were all together things just happened.

“ _Tommo, are you nervous? You’re too quiet._ ” Zayn asked, while putting the bags inside the car.

“ _No, I’m fine, I was just thinking about.. thoughts?_ ” He looked at his friends and opened the door of the car before getting in. 

“ _Thinking thoughts, wow you’re so smart._ ” Liam joked and got in the car too, followed by Zayn.

Louis rolled his eyes and turned on the radio. “ _You know what I mean._ ” He said firmly and started the car, driving back to Zayn’s place. They didn’t talk much because Louis avoided every single question or any kind of conversation and in the end Liam and Zayn just decided to stop talking: they didn’t want to deal with a pissed off Louis.

When they arrived at home, Louis helped his friends to bring the bags in, but as soon as they finished he informed them that he was tired and disappeared in his room. He laid down on his bed and took his phone out of his jeans’ pocket. He went on Instagram once again, but there was anything new, so he moved on Twitter to see if something new had happened. As always, his fans were trying to make him post something and they were promoting his music more than his management. His attention was caught up by a tweet which said that Niall and Harry were seen together at the Mall in London. So he didn’t imagine anything, Niall was there and he was with Harry. Luckily they didn’t see him. 

Louis put his phone on the bedside table and turned himself so that he could be laying on his stomach. He closed his eyes and slowly fell asleep.

When Zayn entered in his room and saw him sleeping peacefully, he didn’t dare to wake him up because it was a miracle: he just took a blanket and covered him with it, he left a small kiss on his head and left the room. Zayn was glad to see that Louis finally managed to fall asleep, he really needed a good night of sleep. 

***

Louis woke up pretty late the next morning because he was starving; he didn’t remember what happened last night, if he had have dinner or if at what time he had fallen asleep, the only thing he knew was that he finally had some sleep. He got out of his bed and went to the kitchen, where he saw Zayn sitting at the table while looking at his phone.

“ _Morning._ ” Louis murmured and then yawned, stretching his arms. He reached his box of coco pops (as always), then took the milk out of the fridge and started to prepare his breakfast. 

“ _Good morning, sleepy head. You literally slept for more than twelve hours._ ” Zayn locked his phone and put it on the table, turning on his chair to look at Louis.

“ _Did I?_ ” Louis took his bowl full of cereal and sat down at the table. “ _That’s why I’m so hungry right now._ ” He said with his mouth full. 

“ _Please don’t talk while eating or you’ll spit on the table._ ” Zayn scrunched his nose, put his elbows on the table and rested his chin on his hands. “ _What are we going to do today?_ ”

“ _OH I was thinking about doing nothing!_ ” Louis answered sarcastically, still eating his breakfast.

“ _Actually we need to clean up the whole house._ ” 

“ _Never in a million years._ ”

Ten minutes later, after finishing his coco pops, Louis was helping Zayn to clean the house. They had divide their tasks and Louis complained when his friend told him to clean the bathroom, but he did it anyway. He hated to clean the house, he hated to do every kind of housework, but he had too or Zayn would kick him out. They spent the entire day cleaning up the house, every single corner: the worst day of his life. After everything was clean, Zayn decided to move some furniture and Louis had to help him: it was a nightmare.

At the end of the day they basically had a new house, everything looked different and Louis was exhausted. He was thinking about how much he wanted to take a warm, relaxing shower and then go to bed when he heard Zayn laughing at his phone.

“ _Zay what’s so funny?_ ”

His friend quickly locked his phone and looked at him directly in his eyes. “ _Oh nothing, just some memes._ ” He hinted a little smile and put his phone away. “ _Look at the time, I’m going to sleep. Goodnight Tommo, turn off the lights when you’ve finished._ ”

Louis suspiciously stared at him, but decided to ignore his inner voice warning him that Zayn was planning something. He left Zayn’s bedroom and turned off the light, then headed to the bathroom to take a shower. He turned on the water to let it become warm and quickly got undressed, he got in the shower and let the water wash away all his thoughts and worries. Once he had spent almost twenty minutes under the water stream, he got out of the shower and wrapped himself in a giant towel, then went into his room and put on his “pyjamas” which consisted in a giant, soft, ripped and old Harry’s t-shirt. He didn’t throw it away because at the beginning it had his perfume and later on it was just the most comfortable piece of clothing he owned. 

He laid down on his bed and wrapped himself in a blanket, hoping to fall asleep soon, but he didn’t succeed. Another night spent awake, alone with his mind.

* * *

When Harry woke up that Saturday morning and his first thought immediately went to that night: he was gonna see all the boys together. He was incredibly happy and excited, but he didn’t know what to think about the situation with Louis, so he decided not to think about it at all and just let things go, as they always did. He picked up his phone to check if someone sent him new messages and saw a few notifications coming from that new group chat. Harry opened it and scrolled through all those messages, looking for the time they were supposed to meet at Zayn’s house. Once he had caught up a few other things, he got out of his bed and headed to the bathroom to take a quick shower. He had so much work to do that day, so everything had to be perfectly scheduled. Once he got out of the shower, he put some comfortable clothes on and went to the kitchen to have breakfast. While eating he started to read the unfinished lyrics of his last song, trying to see if it was actually making sense because he was determined to finish it that day. His tour hasn’t started yet and he was already working on new music. 

As predicted, he spent most of the day writing new songs and finishing old ones, he didn’t check neither his phone nor the time at all. He had lunch while writing, he washed the dishes while whistling a new melody for one of his songs, he sat down on the floor to compose and play the guitar. He dedicated all his time to his music and, when he had to stop working, he felt good with himself. 

When he put his guitar back to its place, he looked up at the time and realised that he was terribly late. Niall was coming to pick him up soon and he was still wearing a tracksuit, his hair was a mess and he looked like he hasn’t slept in decades. Quickly he went to his bathroom and washed his face with cold water, applied some moisturizer because, apparently, it was good for his skin and he already looked less tired. Once he had finished with his face, he went to his bedroom and picked up his new white trousers, a simple, dark blue t-shirt with white stripes and, again, a pair of dark blue vans. He wasn’t actually planning on wearing that t-shirt with those shoes, but he had no time left, because as soon as he put on his shoes he heard Niall ringing his bell. He quickly took the first jacket he saw, his keys and his phone before leaving his house, leaving a huge mess behind him. 

“ _Hey Ni, are you ready?_ ” Harry said when he got in his friend’s car, trying to cover up his shaky voice.

“ _You were you late again, weren’t you?_ ” Niall looked at him and smiled widely, starting to drive to Zayn’s place.

“ _Obviously not._ ” He answered and looked out of the window. 

“ _Using obviously like that make people think that you’re lying, you know that right?_ ”

Harry scrunched his nose and continued to look out of the window, without answering to Niall. 

“ _Oh no, I left my phone at home!_ ” Niall sighed and stopped his car in front of Zayn’s house. “ _Go tell them that I’ll be back soon._ ” 

Harry nodded and got off the car, walking towards the building. When he was in front of the door, he ringed the bell and waited for them to open.

“ _Hey Harry, please come in and make yourself at home!_ ” Zayn smiled at him when he opened the door and let him go inside. Harry opened his mouth to say something, but he was immediately interrupted. “ _Listen, me and Liam need to go out because I forgot to buy… something. We’ll be back in a few minutes._ ” Zayn said quickly and disappeared with Liam outside, closing loudly the door, without letting Harry say a single word.

Okay, that was strange enough and now he was alone in his friend’s house. Or at least he thought he was alone, because Louis hadn’t showed up yet. He was now sitting on the couch and took his phone out of his pocket, starting to scroll through his messages and then through his gallery, deleting some useless pictures. 

“ _Where are the others?_ ”

An angelic voice broke the silence in the room and Harry turned his head to look at him. Gosh, he was so beautiful his heart was hurting. His messy hair looked so soft and defined his perfect, sharp face. He was wearing black, skinny jeans (and he knew he hadn’t worn them in a long time) and a plain, white t-shirt that made his blue eyes sparkle and showed his tattooed, strong arms. Harry was astonished by the man in front of him.

“ _Niall forgot his phone, Liam and Zayn told me they had to buy something._ ” He said, voice low and rough. “ _They said they will be back soon._ ”

Louis just nodded and looked at Harry.. Well, he was actually staring at him. Harry put his phone away and looked down at his feet, biting the inside of his cheek. His heart skipped a beat when he felt Louis sitting down on the couch, leaving some space between them.

“ _I’m sorry._ ” Louis whispered, kinda hoping that Harry couldn’t hear him.

Harry turned his head quickly, looking directly at Louis. “ _For what?_ ”

“ _About what happened last week._ ” Louis couldn’t look at him because he was too embarrassed.

“ _There’s no need to apologise, you know right?_ ” 

“ _I do, but it was late and I was wasted.. I want to make sure I didn’t fuck things up between us._ ” Louis was now looking down at his feet.

“ **_Lou_ ** _, you didn’t, don’t worry._ ” Harry smiled, still looking at Louis. “ _Umh.. how are you?_ ”

Louis frowned his eyebrows and looked at Harry, as soon as their eyes met again, his whole face relaxed and he couldn’t hold a little smile. Harry noticed it and all he was feeling in that moment was butterflies in his stomach. Even after all that time he was as in love as he was at the beginning of their relationship.

“ _I’m fine, and you?_ ” 

“ _I’m doing good. Are you.. are you seeing someone?_ ” Why did he brought up that conversation? Gosh, he was an idiot.

“ _Actually no, I’m very much single._ ” Harry was trying not to sound too much shaken by that question. “ _What about you?_ ”

“ _Nope, I’m also very much single._ ” They both let out a little laughter and looked down at the floor again. Everything was too much awkward. What happened to them? They couldn’t even have a simple conversation.

Harry slightly moved closer to Louis, hoping that he wouldn’t notice it. Louis did the same and Harry was relieved. He looked up at him and saw that the other man was already looking at him. His heart was beating incredibly fast. He looked at him in the eyes and wished he could live in them, then looked down at his red lips and remembered how soft and gentle they felt. He leaned forward, still looking at Louis’ lips but, before he did something stupid, the door opened and three men got in, laughing and talking loudly. He got up and walked towards them, smiling widely.

“ _So, you’ve made it!_ _Why did it take so long?_ ”

“ _Ehm we met Niall along the way._ ” Liam said and looked at Niall.

“ _You told me you were going home._ ”

“ _Umh yes, but I had to stop by the supermarket because I needed… water._ ” Niall was now looking at Zayn. 

“ _Yes, yes that’s true!_ ” Zayn rushed and looked at Louis, who was still sitting on the sofa. “ _Let’s go outside, shall we?_ ” 

They were all outside now: Harry was talking with Liam and Niall was laughing at something Louis said, meanwhile Zayn was setting up the table. When it was ready, Niall was about to sit between Harry and Louis, but Zayn pushed him forward and he was now between Liam and Louis, so that the two could sit next to each other. 

The dinner went really well and they spent all their time together just talking and laughing around that table. Harry couldn’t get his eyes off of Louis, he continued to glance at him the whole night, without noticing that Louis was doing the exact same thing. However, the other three noticed everything and, suddenly, Niall stood up.

“ _Zay, where’s the bathroom?_ ”

“ _First door on the left._ ” He smiled and stood up, looking at Liam. “ _Liam, could you come with me? I need some help._ ” 

Liam nodded and followed Zayn inside, leaving Harry and Louis alone, again. That couldn’t be a coincidence. Harry turned slightly to look again at Louis and their eyes met again: he was gone for that man.

“ _Just the two of us again, apparently._ ” Louis said softly, still looking into Harry’s eyes. 

Harry didn’t know what to say, completely lost in Louis’ eyes, so he just nodded. Louis smiled and bit his bottom lip, looking down at Harry’s lips. Without noticing, they had moved closer and now Harry could feel Louis’ breath on his face, but he didn’t move. Louis didn’t move either, they were both in their little world which felt new but familiar at the same time. 

Harry looked down at Louis lips a couple of times before his brain stopped functioning.

Harry kissed Louis, without thinking, heart in his throat, untold feelings on his lips.

Louis was frozen, but when he felt Harry’s hands on his cheeks, he relaxed and kissed him back. The kiss was soft, their lips were moving slowly like not a single day had passed since the last time, tasting each other like it was the first time, eyes closed like they were dreaming. Harry moved his lips slowly, rubbing Louis’ cheek with his thumb and the other man moved his hands against his chest, grabbing his shirt in his hands to pull him closer, like it wasn’t enough. It felt so good they thought they were about to cry. It felt like breathing again.

Those feeling were too strong, too good, _too much_.

Harry pulled away all of sudden and looked at Louis, lips red and plumped. Louis was looking back at him, confused and overwhelmed.

“ _I am sorry._ ”

He stood up and left Louis there, bumping into Liam, Zayn and Niall who were going back outside, before closing himself in the bathroom.

He fucked up, _again_. 


End file.
